The Uncomfortable Place!

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Today I decided and acted on this one word.

STOP!

The truth is that although I had these amazing ideas to un school or to de school and in reality we have to a certain extent, the teacher in me.... the fearful one in me... the voice that worried about the " what if " won and so we have been soldiering on with Maths and some English .

Last night, after a darling friend dropped off some maths to peruse , I decided to STOP. And so today we did out last maths for the year.

I can spot the gaps and I can see the cracks as he works but hey, next year is another year to begin a fresh and get going.

STOP!

The firmest and friendliest word I have said!

So we blew up balloons and made  a tactile balloon ball with cornstarch  that did not work as well as the bloke on Youtube made it work.

We made those beaded iron shaped goodies and we bought some dough to make "Suzzelle" bread tomorrow.

While I explore Project Based learning , lets get some projects going.

As Jets fellow grade 4 kids write exams and have Christmas assembly  and all that jazz, I have to say that strangely, none of that feels at all as though we are missing out.

I think it is because of this one all pervasive truth.... Jet is still singing, loving art and drama, joining in and did I say singing.

A friend popped by that has known Jet since birth. She spent some time with Tom and Jet as I was teaching art and then she came through. Her eyes all shining and happy as she shared with me how totally happy Jet is. How engaged and chatty. My eyes brimmed with tears. 

He may very well NOT be getting the absolute best of education but can we put a price on this boys  deep happiness?

Lets get Doing!

This is week 5 of the term. For us as a family we are busy as bees with exams. Our older two are writing grade 8 and 10 exams respectively and the third is about to begin grade 6. For those who do not know, Grade 6 exams are the ones the high schools use to decide if a child is the "right" fit for their particular school , or not.

I find exam time both slightly stressful and also great. The kids get to come home early  and I loving having them around. The banter and fun amidst the learning and serious stuff is a delight. Our school going kids are lead extremely full lives. Some of this is great and other parts are not. Learning to juggle,balance, pace , re-adjust and even say no are things that they are each learning along the way.

In the midst of all this, this is the de - schooling term for our Jet.

As I am still juggling art classes in the mornings , we have had to swish and swash through some days and really plan others.

I am a person who finds education exciting. The different ideas, shifts,offers, and thoughts on what should be and is really inspire me.

I also find children interesting. Having an ADHD family has forced me to investigate alternative brain diversities and learning methods. I am still trying to get my head around some of the workings out of these.

As I sit with Jet, his thinking process fascinates me. There is much about how he learns and engages I do not yet know BUT a picture is revealing itself and it is one that was puzzling and concerning me .

If you know anything about ADHD children you will know that their learning and engaging with the world is different and complex. ADHD that we experience is the tip of the ice berg and below the ice berg are many complexities unique to each child. 

As I watched him think I could literally see the frustration and anxiety one day as we did some maths. This was AS his meds kicked it. But , as soon as they  had, he was off.

Settled?

Not really. One of our aims in taking Jet out of school was to Switch him on to learning again because we are all designed to learn and love it, to inquire and ask questions and yet that was not his experience.

Partly his ADHD played into it and partly not. ADHD people experience a great deal of bordem ( I have written about this on my ADHD blog). Jet was extremely bored. Not because he is supper bright or the work was dull but because he struggled to engage it.

Coming home I can see that struggle still exists. So now I have a problem. I kept thinking that there must be another way. A way to engage him that is really going to get to him.

Last night I found it.

As I have been working with him, I can see the difference between his engagement on project work and making stuff as apposed to a simple written task. While he will need to do some of these, there is another way.

Project based learning

and its fellow friend 

Inquiry based learning

These are not the same thing but both engage the child in the learning process although in different ways. There are overlaps. 

This is all new thinking to me and I am really excited by it all.

For the first time I think we may have hit on something here. I was thrilled to see schools are using these two approaches in the USA and they really seemed to be places of awesome learning.

Isn't that what we all want. Places that kids actually learn and enjoy doing it? 

There is so much more for me to explore here.

But for now, God has answered our prayer in this regard, in a day actually.

Thanks be to God!

The Educational Fizzer and the Release of a Butterfly

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We decided to take our youngest son out of school and to home school him. For obvious reasons it has been an enormous decision and one that has had exceptional consequences.

We are in the de-schooling process  which is for both of us. We are kind of doing bits of school that are interesting and helpful but other wise we are rediscovering ourselves, our space and our relationship. It is enormous fun! Educationally this is blowing my mind . It feels like a fizz inside of me and it really is explosive.  There are amazing curricula available for us to use as home school families . In addition there is a world of wonder ,online!

 Education as we know it is shifting, and shifting fairly quickly. People are able to access free online courses at universities like Harved as an example.

Kids have access to excellent , visual, clear lessons on Maths and Science and much more.

There are ideas and examples and help on platforms like Pintrest.

Khan Academy is absolutely brilliant and anyone can benefit from the excellent visual explanations.

We checked out a few on Time in Maths and came across spectacular way of presenting time, especially for kids who do not quite " get it".

Our son in grade 10 is using Khan for science upskilling.

I keep calling this an adventure and that is exactly what it is for us all.
The adventure includes not only what we are learning but how slowly or quickly we do it and more then that HOW we do it.

Jet is a kid who needs to move. This is the perfect space to experiment with how far and how much we can move and learn new concepts. He is using words like "fun" and "exciting" and "interesting" which he has not used for a very long time - in relation to learning ( enrichment is the exception) but then I think we are doing enrichment most of the time right now.

He is also a kid who get tired easily and so we can have those spaces too. Time to just rest the brain and take a break - just when he needs to.
There is a body of knowledge we need to do and we do not need to get through it all right now. There is time and this choice has afforded us that precious gift.

Time!

People are so encouraging and helpful. Some don't quite get what we have done while others somehow wish they could be as brave.

There are many unknowns but I am choosing to live in the here and now. We are enormously grateful to God for this opportunity. It is absolutely the very best thing for this darling  boy right now! 

He is like a caterpillar escaping its cocoon!

Oh Happy Days

So here we are. Two weeks in...

My emotions have zig zagged from excitement through to thinking. " what have we done".

This is definitely the settling in phase or the de schooling phase.. We are ALL adjusting. In so many ways, small and big, this decision has effected us as individuals and as a family.

We are adjusting.

The biggest and most beautiful change is in our son Jethro. He is happy beyond happy. Jumps and sings about and keeps saying. " this is fun hey mom.". These are the words that make me glad. Learning is fun and if we can bring THAT to him and alive in him then this is well worth it.

These are photos from our week thus far. Clay café which brought some good discussion time and a happy place for us both. 

The others are of Jet doing x table game outside. He loved this." Take a photo for dad" is all he kept saying.

This is good.!

Let all fun begin

So we are two days into the homeschooling adventure.

It has been weird. It has been strangely busy. Day one day an into into woodwork with these two really great men who helped the group build various items.

Day two saw a time with a group of kids for science. Friction. We spent some time talking this evening about how strange a neccesity friction is.

Maths and postcrossing, drawing and reading have filled the spaces.

Jet keeps saying... It is fun!

Long, long may I keep it fun. After all learning should be fun.

Last but not over

So.. We begin.....

This photo is Jets" last day at school" photo. It was a happy / sad day for me but a glorious day for him.

He has not stopped smiling all week.

The second photo is a realisation photo.

We were out for pizza, just the three of us, and Jet was sitting on Doug's lap. As we chatted and shared about this wing of our adventure,, Dougie turned to Jet and. Said,, " I hated school Jet!"

And then it dawned..... This is the experience Doug had at school.. The sore tummy,, feeling sick, anxious and perpetually bored kind of experience.. Not that Jet had this exact response. No, his was different and yet the same.

Phew.

So deeply grateful to give this boy another kind of experience.. A privaledge and blessing. Thank you Lord.

Die Oog - The Eye

I write these records of time for Jethro and for us as a family as a record f this journey. I realise there are hundreds of families that homeschool and there is nothing special about our journey. We are one of the many but for us it is a profound and beautiful journey and one we would not really ever have thought of.

Last night Tom said, " we are almost a homeschool family." How very sweet and inclusive.

Jethro is so finished with school and I am really finished FOR him. He is having some days off already and it feels very, very good and appropriate.

This weekend was our very first art exhibition. There are children from all different schooling environments including some homeschoolers. We had a great time together , as a community and this is my heart beat. All people, no matter where you fit, welcome and sharing life.

My dear friend T has a fantastic school and I teach her children. It is such fun bouncing ideas off her and again this week, we met and she shed some insight and light into my choices for Jet. Thank you!

Jet  and I took a day off last weeek and we visited Die Oog, our local dam/ pond. We were all alone....

The weaver birds were busy weaving and Jet was talking. We had a great time, learning from this little time together.

Afterwards , we visited local , new, PNA and bought a fabulous art book and new set of art pencils. Jet is a great drawer and a keen artisit, but his art light has been a bit dull of late....

He came home and began........ this is the hope that I was hoping for. That the light of learning would come on for him again.....

The adventure continues!

Planing not to plan

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I am a planner of sorts. I plan a great deal in my head and some on paper. If I take on a project I will have done some planning towards it. I do however marvel at my friends who are fabulous at planning the box and ticking it. That, is not me.

So, in coming to this next 10 weeks or so of Jet coming home from school, I have , in the usual way my brain works ( slowly), been considering the notion of de-schooling. Many in the homeschooling world have dropped this word in . The concept is for the child to just shake off school. Take a break and rest from the school way of doing education. 

Since I don't feel strongly that school is wrong or necessarily damaging , this idea did not initially grab me. 

But, we have 10 weeks or so to play with before I am ready and rescheduled in my art work and before , well we get going.

The idea had been bouncing around in my thinking.

I have arrived at a place that will satisfy his need to take some time off to re-fuel and my need to have a plan of sort in place.

I began by writing down all the fun things we could do together. Things like having lunch with daddy in Bo-Kaap and seeing a movie or going to the beach.

I have written all these on bits of paper and popped them into a box.

Jet can choose from the list and pop the activity onto the weeks schedule.

I have also made a weekly schedule so that we can keep doing some maths and schedule at least that in but also other things that we would like to do and might never get around to. planting some vegetables or building a bigger rabbit run or a tree climbing rope and shelter. 

Other fun things like listening to audios and reading some books together or going  Kalk Bay for ice cream.

The list is longer than we need for 10 weeks. 

In this way we can "plan" some super fun things to do together and I can also help him  be busy while I teach. He ccan also have some time to rest and catch his breath.

As for now, he is cultivating his homeschool hair and having some days off along the way to the end.

Comming Home Early

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He is comming home. We have finally taken the decision to bring him home at the end of the term, not the end of the year. Yipeeee!

He is so thrilled and so am I. 

Life is not exactly straight pathed , now is it?

I am totally not ready - but he is.

I am not settled on anything for certain for our learning journey - he is ok with that.

He is ready!

Thats what counts.

*

The Sad Divide!

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We are brand spanking new to all things homeschooling!

So, I write this post with caution and hope. I realise that my voice might be deamed weak and irrelevant but I write none the less.

Both Jethro and I are so excited about our homeschooling adventure which will begin next year. I have written about our reasons for bringing him home in this blog.

We have 4 beautiful sons. Two are in high school and the other two are in one of our local, government primary schools. 

We attend a church and live in a community where many people send their children to a variety of schools and many homeschool.

I teach art and am so encouraged by the variety of educational choices. Children come from the Waldorf school all the way across the spectrum to homeschool. I absolutely love these beautiful children and we do have loads of fun and good learning.

One of the deep sadness I find within the homeschooling online world and in conversation with moms from time to time, is the public negative and often misplaced critism of school. Here, I want to say that I get that a child may have had an absolutely awful, awful experience at school. I tutor children and run an ADHD support group and so really get how difficult school can be for kids and parents alike. So I recognise and acknowledge here the deep pain for families. There is much growth needed in many areas in modern schools. 

But....... we have had a very good and healthy experience in general for 3 of our boys. They are thriving and learning through all the good and the not so good. For them, the positives have far outweighed the negatives and yes, even the waiting has not been that bad. Smart, ingeneous kids find a good way to fill the gaps with reading or doing work or just being social. 

I feel that the public "dissing" of schools  actually harms the homeschooling choice.  I realise that intially a "voice" needed to be created and a space carved out for homeschooling and I really pray that that space is maintained. We are about to straddle the two words. The strangeness of that is evident. Perhaps I am the furtunate one because I get the good and bad of both and so my perspective is balanced. Ill let you know. But for now, my hope is that we can all really  work at offering grace and space for people to choose. Their is fun and a wonder in diversity!!

Where the path leads.

This is a photograph of our Jet. he has already perfected the art of homeschoolers hair!

Jethro is in Grade 4 at one of our local schools in Cape Town . He is a bright boy who is thirsty to learn and great fun to be with. 

He has ADHD. 

Distracted in his thinking continuously and always unless something grabs his interest and of course the faithful old friend of ADHD people - BOREDOM!

When ever I say this I am aware that people may misunderstand ADHD boredom. It is not that he is so super clever that the work is beneath his ability nor is it that the actual work IS boring. ADHD boredom is about interest being grabbed and held. If something is super interesting for the kid, then he or she is spellbound and it is easier on and off Ritalin to pay attention. However, if the work is not grabbing and especially if it is repetition, well then the kid is lost to an inner world of fantastic distraction.

This is our Jet.

The path we are on with him has lead us to the door of homeschooling. You can read this in my blog post here.

http://reluctancewithhope.blogspot.co.za/2016/07/i-am-reluctant-homeschooler.html

After gathering enough information from people who already home school and who have been very helpful, I took some time out yesterday to visit the Internet sites for myself.

One of the difficulties in taking a child out of school to home school, is in navigating the level of the child in an area of learning.  It is tricky beyond tricky and as all things books cost money, I would like us not to make a mistake!

So the online journey has begun.

I began with South African sites that offer different options for English, ,maths and history as an example.

The most helpful thing they offer is an assessment to gauge the level of learning. Yipeeee. stress reliever!

Now to look at what is on offer. For the most part, especially all the wonderful reading material that is linked to the lessons, I am desperate to begin - ( not only for Jet but for me too)

There is a wealth of choice and fabulous reading material to choose from. The options seem really exciting.

It is so thrilling to be embarking on this journey with this kiddo. When I explained the process thus far to him last night , his little eyes gleamed. This morning his announced, " I wish the year would go faster so we can homeschool soon."

Neither he or I really know what this is going to look like in reality, but at least we can "kind of" see a fun way forward!

The Gathering

I have arrived at a point where I think I, sort of, have a kind of handle on some of the choices available to us for homeschooling Jet next year.. I am incredibly grateful to those who have kindly given up time and patiently answered my super dumb questions.

I am sitting outside my fav high school, with the wind building a storm, and I wonder what in the world have we decided to do?

I am not one of those people who dislike, disagree with or hate mainstream schooling.
Our son has not been bullied and nor is he struggling academically.. And yet here we are.

My emotions fluctuate between absolute fear and extreme excitment.. I know the proof will be in the pudding and well love it with this kiddo..

Three observations I'll come back to again in time and reassess.

1. Homeschooling could be expensive if one is not smart.
2. The work content varies from medium to extreme as one chooses
3. It is tricky to know what to include and what to ditch..

The learning to ❤︎. Homeschooling journey continues.

Step one in letting go and saying hello

Today I met with our school Principal to share our story and our decision to homeschool Jethro. We have had a very good relationship over the years. We chatted and chatted and I was so encouraged by his positive response and support for our choice. Thank you Lord.

Yesterday I met with my friend Tammy to share with her curriculum choices. It was exciting to see the options for children and it was also a little overwhelming.. I came away thinking 💭,, ok we can do this..

Very exciting to be planning and thinking what might work for Jet and for me too. Thank you Lord for the option of fun in learning.. So grateful for the option and mindful of the enormous priveledge this choice is..

I am "The Reluctant Homeschooler"

For Lucy and Drew!

This is a photograph of a wire owl taking flight from its perch. This is a little what I feel like right now. Full of hope and excitiment and scared to death!!

I am a mother of 4 beautiful , kind, sweet and very handsome young men. The oldest is 16 and the youngest is 10. The middle two are 14 and 12.

We have  enjoyed many years of good education in what some call "the system" and I guess in many ways it is a system of education. I think people often talk about The System as some kind of terrible kind of thing. A necessary evil. We have had a very healthy and good experience in so many ways in  sending our children to school.  We are beyond forunate to be at excellent schools and our sons are being stretched and grown in their experiences at school for which we are indeed grateful.

The two older boys are in high school at Westerford High in The Western Cape and the two younger ones attend Sweet Valley Primary in our local area. 

We have had many blessings and watched our sons grow and thrive through the good things and also through the negative things that inevitably come with school.  We would not have changed these many experiences for the world.

Two of our children have ADHD   which has meant a real shift in the way we parent and also in what we expect from schooling for them. The one son has found his groove and is thriving in so many ways. 

Our youngest unfortunately has not yet found his groove .

Each year I hold my breath and wait to see how he settles and how it is all going to work out. Trusting the Lord and pressing on with helping him find his groove has been the aim.

This year, right in the very beginning of the year, we visited our specialist who is walking with us in our ADHD journey.  

She confirmed my fears about Jet in school and shared some of them.

Then she said these words....

" I think Jethro would thrive in a homeschooling situation"....

I stuck my fingers in my ears because this was not what I wanted to hear.

This was not the first time the homeschooling idea had been suggested. My precious friend Colleen who is homeschooling her daughter, had suggested it many times before.

So, here we are, 6 months down the road and we have made that jump. We are leaping forward, like that owl, and going to take the plunge.

He is in school for the remainder of this year and God willing we will bring him home to school him in 2017.

My thanks is to all those brave homeschoolers who I interact with and are willing to share life with me and to my dear friend Tammy who has boldly gone where many fear to tread. This blog post is dedicated to Lucy and Drew who actually were the final catalyst to my KNOWING that this is what this boy needs... for now. 

Drew you rock kiddo!

Who knows what the future holds  but God and we are heading his call with this son of ours so that he can learn and thrive.

May the year ahead be full of good learning for you Jethro.

Lets do this thing!